It’s obviously fabulous (if a little chilly) being back in the UK, but it’s a whole new thing being here now I have experienced six months of life as Annnnn-nnnahhhh in Bangkok:
1. No matter how long I stand waiting, the staff at my local Spar in Leeds were never going to give me either a plastic bag or a straw to go with my bottle of pepsi max, and they were certainly not going to wai me as I left.
2. I no longer feel like a baby elephant. Equally no one is telling me on a daily basis how beautiful my farang skin is. Swings and roundabouts.
3. Apparently it’s just not done if you like the look of something on someone’s plate to help yourself without asking, like we do during lunchtime in the office.
4. Driving along the M62, I tried to picture myself riding a motorcyc side saddle as I would along Sukhumvit Road, which then got worse as I mentally added a flat pack bookshelf to the equation.
5. Pro tip: when the Tesco cashier informs you that your total bill is £70, and you pull out a calculator offering them £35 before asking what their best price is, security will be called.
6. There are no fishballs to be found anywhere. This is a positive.
7. I’ve turned into one of those people who talks incessantly to check out cashiers, just because I understand them, and they understand me. I have sensed the hacky looks baring into the back of my head from fellow shoppers in the busy run up to Christmas and the sales thereafter. Mai pen rai!
8. My whistle no longer has power. I have blown it many times in various scenarios just to be sure, but rather than being able to stop and direct traffic or partake in protests, I am only attracting odd looks.
9. My friends are perfectly happy to walk everywhere. In heels. Weird.
10. I am finally able to enjoy proper Chinese food, and not like that rubbish they serve in Asia (**hides**).